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My life over the last few months have been interesting from a spiritual point of view. Melissa has been such a blessing on my life and I have really felt that has been straight from God. Thus a season of praising God has been there. With some of our spiritual discussions and praying together I have felt closeness with God. However on the other hand, without Melissa around it feels almost like I'm stuck underwater. I don't think this is a terribly bad thing, because feeling really close to God comes and goes. It doesn't mean I don't want that or will try to get it. And I know that I will. To be completely healthy I can't simply rely on Melissa to get close to God.
So last night I wrote down some of the things that keep me away from God during my regular life (i.e. pride) and I prayed about them. Not only for myself, but for our society as a whole. Concerted effort is often needed to better one's self and I think that's what I shall have to do. Many of the things that plague me are things that plague everyone around us. Either way, once I was done that I got to burn the pieces of paper as a symbol and as an excuse to light things on fire. What that means is that those things are dead and gone. I can't go back to them because they are ashes and flushed down the toilet (and I don't feel like going down into the sewers to get them).
I wrote a prayer (sort of a liturgy) and posted it on my door back in November and I think I'm going to write it down here.
"Lord God, my Redeemer
You have created me the way that you dreamed
Today I give my life back to you
Let me not live for selfish things
But help me live to love others around me and my Creator as well
Guide my path and give me what I need
So last night I wrote down some of the things that keep me away from God during my regular life (i.e. pride) and I prayed about them. Not only for myself, but for our society as a whole. Concerted effort is often needed to better one's self and I think that's what I shall have to do. Many of the things that plague me are things that plague everyone around us. Either way, once I was done that I got to burn the pieces of paper as a symbol and as an excuse to light things on fire. What that means is that those things are dead and gone. I can't go back to them because they are ashes and flushed down the toilet (and I don't feel like going down into the sewers to get them).
I wrote a prayer (sort of a liturgy) and posted it on my door back in November and I think I'm going to write it down here.
"Lord God, my Redeemer
You have created me the way that you dreamed
Today I give my life back to you
Let me not live for selfish things
But help me live to love others around me and my Creator as well
Guide my path and give me what I need
Pick me up when I fall
and Keep me filled with hope
Hallelujah
Amen"
and Keep me filled with hope
Hallelujah
Amen"
4 comments:
Trevor,
I'm glad we have this time apart for you to realize this, its good! although sucky at the same time. I feel the same way. I think Shaorn gives me a poke every now and again to see if i'm acctually living. Thats what having homework, projects and major meeitngs all in one week does to your intellect and spirit. But even this week there are things to rejoice, God is good, he always is. I love you.
Oh I forgot to mention midterms...yes, I have midterms this week
Midterms indeed suck. I believe they are a tool of the devil. But Trevor, you are awesome.
WOW... no I really mean WOW. I think this maybe one of my favorite posts ever. It is real, honest, open, deep and personal. Plus I am impressed and inspired by your reponse to your realization and then involving symbolism. I also love the picture... although a little creepy! All that is left to say is THANKS!
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